Knickers in a Twist

There are only a couple of things I would change about my fabulous apartment ('The Penthouse'). I wish it had a garage, and I wish it had a washer/dryer. Granted, it does have the hookups for the w/d, but I'm using that space for storage. And honestly, I go home to the farmhouse so often I usually do my laundry there.

But because of the recent barrage of ice and snow, I hadn't been able to get home for a couple of weeks. Needless to say, the laundry situation was starting to get desperate. And, I was making a trip to KC and most of the things I wanted to wear were in the hamper, so I was at DEFCON 9, which spurred me to do something I hadn't done in ... well, I'm not sure I've EVER done it ...

I loaded up the car and headed to the laundromat.

Now you have to understand, for all my openness, when it comes to my skivvies, I'm a pretty private person. So I was thrilled/relieved when I got to the 'mat and no one was there. I chucked my stuff into a couple of washers, set the dial, and settled in with my book. But while I was reading, a couple of things happened.

One: As the sun went down, I discovered that the mat was UBER-CLOSE to one of the main streets in town, and as the sky got darker, the lights inside seemed to get brighter - and I had put my clothes into washers that were right next to the HUGE BAY WINDOW. I broke out into a cold sweat, panicking about all of those cars driving past while I was fishing my gitch out of the washers.

And, two: SIX other people came to do their laundry as well. TWO of which were dudes. ACK! At this point, all I can think about is my underwear swirling around in the dryers for God and everyone to see. Panic, panic, panic. Why didn't I just go BUY new underwear?! I am seriously thinking about leaving my stuff in the washer until all these people leave.

And I did. For a while, anyway, but then I finished my book and had nothing else to keep me occupied. I think I set new land speed records for the amount of time it took me to get my things out of the washers and into the dryers (the ones WAY in the corner, which weren't really what one could consider 'private', but it made me feel a little better), then from the dryers into my basket and into my car.

Whew. Who knew the laundromat would be such a terrifying place? Me, now. So on my way back to The Penthouse, contemplating all manner of ways to avoid having to go to that horrible place ever again. Then it hits me. 'Note to self. Seriously consider purchase of wash tub and board in case of future laundering emergencies.'

No matter how you spell it ...

I'll admit it every day of the week: I'm a grammar and spelling nazi. To me, they're immediate, distinct badges of education and professionalism. You know that a person means business when they can put their intentions into words, placing all of the letters carefully into the correct order ...

Which, my friends, is why I have to look away every time I pass this sign along the highway. Yes, it says 'Year End Clearence'. It sends intense, shooting pain up my spine and makes my hand itch for a red pen (or a can of red spray paint). But, on the other hand, I honestly doubt that his sales have been very negatively effected by his lack of a dictionary. (and, apparently, the signmaker's)

The Hello Habit.

In rural areas and small towns, you're taught as a kid to look people in the eye and say hello. When you meet someone or pass a person on the street, whether you actually know that person or not, your parents teach you that it's bad manners not to say anything.

I'm saddened to say that I've gotten out of this habit, and I've gotten into the habit of simply smiling and looking at my shoes. (What in the BLUE BLAZES?? WHY do I do this?? I'M even slightly perturbed at it. Nonetheless.) It was a tough realization I came to just today, while I was grocery shopping on my lunch break. Lunchtime at the grocery store is an odd time ... it's when construction workers, moms, farmers, retired folk, students, and other random odds and ends do their shopping - mostly people who are from this area. And into this environ I wandered this afternoon.

First, Salvation Army bell ringer. I smile at him. He smiles back and issues a hearty hello. I offer a quiet hi. Next, whilst perusing the produce, I get to the lettuce where a stocker has her cart planted in front of what I want. I eye her. She catches me and says hello! Taken slightly aback, I return the greeting and grab my lettuce. Okay, so service workers and employees say hello. Not too surprising.

But I ain't done yet. FOUR TIMES while I was shopping the aisles, complete strangers said hello to me. By this time, I was beginning to note my internal urge to just smile and look down, so I made myself look them right in the eye and say hello back.

How on EARTH did I end up with this SHY bit to my personality??!! Where did this come from?? How long have I been this way?? Why did I start just smiling and looking away?? This is very disturbing, honestly. And simply will NOT be acceptable any longer. That is IT. I shun thee, shyness. I shall be an eye-looker and hi-sayer from henceforth.

It's time to PANIC! oh, wait, nevermind.

I love weather forecasts. ALL WEEK last week, the outlook for this weekend was getting progressively treacherous, hazardous, awful, ICE! SNOW! WIND! SLEET! 1/2 INCH ICE ACCUMULATION! FREEZING TEMPERATURES!! ARMAGEDDON!! SAVE YOURSELF!!

So of course, on Friday afternoon, panic ensued in the general population. Wal-Mart and all the grocery stores were overwhelmed with frenzied shoppers, doing their best to save their families during this bleak time. For, undoubtedly, there would be no getting out this weekend, what with the world covered in ice as they were predicting.

I have to admit, I was no different. How can you think otherwise, when the 'chance' of sleet is 100%?! I braved Wal-Mart, got myself some ice melt salt, munchies, and propane. Went home, made sure my grill was still working (cause with all this ICE coming, the power lines would surely be down), put my flannel jammies on and snuggled in for a long weekend of crocheting and reading by candlelight.

As it turns out, the ice, rain, wind, all did occur. However, the weather forecasters' tarot cards were slightly off, in that they failed to reveal the sub-tropical TEMPERATURES that would accompany this storm. Sure, the weather was still kinda nasty, but nowhere near the state of national doom that was called for.

Almost makes me feel guilty for not doing a bloody thing this weekend.

Almost.