Get your finger outta my face

We all know that the livestock industry has been under increasing levels of heavy artillery fire from everyone - PETA, HSUS, the EPA - and all the money that they've thrown behind their efforts has certainly made a big impact on the public's opinion. And, it's no secret that their wailing and finger-pointing has really started to chap my ass (sorry, mom!). So, I wanted to take a sec and share a little article from BEEF Magazine Online yesterday, that shows an illuminating light on what turns out to be a despicably deceptive, widely-publicized, livestock-bashing report. Somehow, I imagine that it won't get put on CNN's prime time. Enjoy.

"No question about it: The 2006 United Nations report Livestock's Long Shadow. put a new jolt into animal-rights and other anti-meat campaigns. The report’s claim that 18percent of global greenhouse gases are caused by animal agriculture has become a rallying cry for activists whose fondest wish is to weld the animal rights and environmental movements into one giant behemoth to remake the way we eat. But something has always smelled a little funny about that “18 percent,” and we worked to put a finger on it.

The Marlborough Express reports that the company’s marketing manager spoke with Pierre Gerber, a livestock policy officer who co-authored the UN report. And Gerber apparently agreed that “18 percent” was a generalization that might not apply to every country.

“Buried in the report,” writes Express reporter Jon Morgan, “is the information that deforestation—mainly in the Amazonian rainforest—is included in that figure. Without it, livestock's contribution falls to less than 12 per cent.”

They don’t clearcut or burn down forests for pasture land in New Zealand, you see. And neither do we in the United States.

But even 12 percent still sounded a bit unrealistic. So we went digging.

In April the EPA released a 473-page report called the Inventory of U.S. Greenhouse Gas Emissions and Sinks: 1990-2006. It’s a complete accounting of global-warming-related emissions in the United States and where they come from. Here's what the EPA has to say...

In 2006, the agricultural sector was responsible for emissions of 454.1 teragrams of CO2 equivalent (Tg CO2 Eq.), or 6 percent of total U.S. greenhouse gas emissions.

Yes, six percent. Not 18 or 12. And that six percent represents all of agriculture, not just meat production. It includes greenhouse-gas emissions from farming cotton, wheat, broccoli, soybeans (tofu, anyone?), and everything else that comes out of the ground.

It gets more interesting still. The EPA actually separates out the various kinds of agricultural emissions, including two categories (“manure management” and "enteric fermentation") which are clearly related to raising animals for food, and many (like “rice cultivation”) which clearly are not.

The livestock-related greenhouse-gas emissions from 2006 add up to 181.9 teragrams of CO2 equivalent. And the EPA reports that the entire United States emitted 7,054.2 teragrams during that year.

We did the math. Greenhouse-gas sources directly related to livestock production in the United States only account for 2.58 percent of the total. And the latest USDA figures we could find, show that 95 percent of the animal products we consume are produced right here in the United States.

In addition to deforestation, the UN report counts livestock-related carbon emissions from a few other sources that the EPA doesn’t consider. Burning fuels to make fertilizer, for instance, along with tilling soil to grow feed crops, and the transportation of meat to market. But we’re asking ourselves this: If livestock production disappeared tomorrow, wouldn’t we just be transporting more tofu around? And wouldn’t we just be plowing and fertilizing the land to supply PETA’s vegetarian utopia?

That settles it for us. “Livestock’s Long Shadow” has officially disappeared, at least where domestic meat production is concerned. All it took was a little bit of light."

Amazing.

One Stop Shopping.

Shopping list for Stella Bleaux:
- gun
- socket set
- Lay-Z-Boy
- hookah
- African fertility statue
- kitchen drapes
- wine
- snow tires
- weedeater
- snakeskin boots
- golf clubs
- pogo stick
- cocktail dress

And then when you're done shopping, you can head on over to Snappy's! I love rural Missouri.

Mass Skunkicide?

Does anyone know why, in the last month, there have been an (literally) overwhelming number of skunks (literally) throwing themselves under the bus? On my way in to work this morning, there was one grim, grisly, pungent skunk death scene after another. Every 10 miles. I know this because just about the time the smell from the last one had cleared out of my car, in swept the perfume from the next one. And of course, with that kind of assault at that hour of the morning, I couldn't help but think weird thoughts about it. here's how my internal conversation went:

Maybe the stripey creatures get to this time of year and think that winter is never, never, never going to be over and that it's time to end it all? (Come to think of it, some days I can't say I blame them.) Or maybe they're all in the same skunk cult (a 'Skult' perhaps?) and last night was the night they were all directed to drink purple kool-aid and go play in traffic? Or maybe it's not suicide at all ... maybe there's a mass skunk murderer on the loose in our area who likes to befriend innocent skunks, hit 'em with a hammer and shove them onto the street? Shouldn't someone be investigating? (Someone call NCIS. Nat'l Crimes Involving Skunks!)

Hey, it was 5:45 AM and I was driving. What ELSE was I supposed to be thinking about??

Schotzi's Toys

In December, I got a fantastic Christmas present: a new border collie puppy. (eeeEEE!) My hubby and I went to check out the litter of pups that some people had, and they had two left. We knew someone else who wanted a puppy too, so we took them both. The other folks just wanted their dog as a pet, so before we decided which one to keep, we spent a couple of days with both of the pups. I had learned some things about picking out a good (read: smart, loyal, cattle-minded, instinctual) border collie puppy, and for those couple of days, the pups didn't know it but they were auditioning.

I clapped my hands at them, turned them over, looked at the roof of their mouths, went on walks with them, played with them ... it was basically a three-day job interview for them. As you would expect, Big A wanted to keep one dog and I wanted to keep the other. And also as you would expect, I won. :)

So, me and Schotzi have been doing some early puppy training. Mind you, I'm still constantly watching her, looking for hints about her future skills as a cattle dog. And she is showing some great potential. We go on walks almost daily, we play, and she goes with me whenever I go help out on the farm. This past weekend, the weather was gorgeous, so I grabbed my chainsaw and my dog, and went to help my dad cut some firewood.

Schotzi was bounding around the field having a great time, not fazed at all by the chainsaw noise (which is another good thing), and was adventurously meandering around but not roaming too far (which is yet another good thing). We had been there for about 30 minutes when the very curious and friendly young heifers who live in that field came to investigate the hubbub we were making.

Because she's too young yet, Schotzi has not been formally introduced to cattle. But as soon as she saw the approaching heifers, she immediately locked on target, like a missile launcher. All at once, she was rock still and all business. The heifers walked closer as a cluster, until one brave one broke out from the group and walked up to sniff Schotzi out, nose-to-nose. Too bad Schotzi wasn't interested in making friends. As soon as the one separated herself out a couple of steps, Schotzi's herding instinct kicked in. She got behind the heifer and started chasing her around the truck! We tried calling her off, but she was focused entirely on her 'job'. It wasn't until I literally caught her in mid stride that she quit running after the heifer! And she is FAST for a little black-and-white!

At the same time that I was telling her 'No', inside I was glowing. Ha! Another very big positive! Some border collies just don't 'have any cow in them' which means they can sometimes be scared of cattle or don't have any natural interest in them. This would be a very bad thing for Schotzi's future if she didn't have any cow in her. However, this accidental encounter was proof that we aren't going to have any trouble with that.

Not wanting her to get hurt playing with her new 'toys', we put her in the truck until the heifers wandered out of eyesight over the hill again. But even when she couldn't get to 'em, she was still vigilant. I think the caption for this one would be something like:

Until we meet again, my friends.
or
You may have won the day. But before the war is over, you will do as I command.


Ha. Get 'em, Schotz.

Homestead Searching

In a small town, searching for a house is an interesting, frustrating venture. In a more urban area, if you don't like the choices you're coming up with, just wait 15 minutes, hit the refresh button and presto! There are 20 more to choose from.

In the city, your selection criteria could look something like this:
- good neighborhood
- 2,200 square feet
- 3 bedrooms
- new appliances
- 2 car garage

In the country, if there's one new listing every week, it's a miracle. So, you either take what's available, or you build something. Well, with the prices of building being quite a bit higher than buying right now, we decided to start by looking at what's already out there. Our selection criteria look something like this:
- not so far out of town that if we got home one day and discovered that we forgot to get canned peas at the grocery store, we could actually go back and get some without first having to get to a gas station or abandoning the peas altogether.
- far enough away from neighbors that we could garden naked if we wanted to, but close enough to neighbors that if we needed sunscreen, we could throw on some tennies and a robe and be back in a ... flash.
- must have access to high-speed internet. Believe it or not, some places are still so far out in East BoJangles that smoke signals and dial-up are the only options.
- do the neighbors have 4 rusty lawn mowers, 3 goats, 18 free-range chickens, a dog kennel, a couch, and 12 kids in the front lawn?
- was the home built in this century? Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing but love for the Century home, but if I'm going to buy something permanent, I would really like to be able to run a hair dryer and the refrigerator at the same time without blacking out the entire neighborhood.
- something that's on a well-maintained rock road. I would rather not need a 4x4 monster truck to get down the road to the house in the Spring. Of course, having a monster truck would be pretty sweet ...

Believe it or not, not many houses have met this criteria yet. Okay, no houses have met this criteria. But, we'll keep watching the obituaries ... er, the real estate listings, I mean. There's bound to be something. Like the Muppets said, 'I hope that something better comes along!' There are other alternatives in a pinch, though. I could just get my hands dirty and dig into a south-facing hill. It wouldn't be that bad, would it? I mean, look at the pride of ownership on this guy's face!