Spa Day

I gave BBQ a bath and mani/pedi tonight. TREACHEROUS and TERRIFYING experiences. I'm pretty sure I didn't breathe the entire time. Babies in bath water are the most priceless pieces of wiggly, slippery, soapy porcelain, and I wish they came with handles. Or maybe a sprayer nozzle that's safe for babies - like a cross between a pressure washer and a water gun. Yeah.

And then there was the mani/pedi. I reckon the precision it takes to gently-yet-effectively cut a baby's fingernails and toenails runs parallel to the skill necessary for brain surgery. (And should probably require at least residency-level training as well!) Squinting and clipping, all while holding these teeny hands that just got the burnin' desire to DANCE (even while there's no music - she IS her mother's daughter) ... and knowing that you're going to have to do it again in a week or so ... it's the kind of tormenting task Sisyphus could identify with.

Rarely have I been so completely out of my skill set. But hey, if you can't stand the heat, don't have the baby. Can't wait till the next Spa Night!

Wastin' Away Again ...

did I really just blow an entire hour staring at BBQ while she was sleeping?

Cross-Section of My Stomach

BBQ (still giggling over this one) was surgically removed today! And what a GORGEOUS little girl, if I do say so myself. We even made the papers, as the first baby the hospital had in 2010. Famous already - how is she gonna keep up this celebrity? I hope she doesn't develop a 'tude. :)

Whoa, though. C-sections. I've never had major surgery like that before. I'd totally do it again to keep the Q from being stressed or harmed during birth, but wow, it's a pretty big scary deal. They prep ya - a series of rather unfortunate events in a woman's subterranean region. Ick. Ouch. Then you're wheeled into the OR, which is arctic, and given a spinal tap. Bonus: my anesthesiologist said I had 'a textbook back' for the procedure. Go me. Blink once or twice, and you can't feel your feet anymore. They slap you on your back, hang a drape, and go to work. I'm still torn on whether I would have liked for them to remove the drape. I don't know if it would have made my nerves worse, or would have been totally enthralling. Maybe if there's a next time.

I had awesome treatment the whole time - the people in the OR were even listening to a homemade 80s CD - that took some of the edge off, for sure. The other operative incident that made me giggle was the sound effects behind the drape. Not long into the surgery, there was a POP! SPLISH! Water sounds on the floor, and a nurse: OH! GOODNESS! Then giggles all around and comments about the condition of someone's shoes. Upon inquiry, though, I did NOT, in fact, inadvertently ruin someone's shoes. I was told it was no big deal; that's why they all wear boots in the OR! Excellent. Hopefully they won't add on to my bill for the cleanup in aisle 6.

Ah well, how many people get to sing, "Wicked Game" while they're having a beautiful child extracted? I mean, honestly, if I could've written it, I'm not sure I would have done it any differently.