The Cookie Project

Let me start by saying that I am not a baker. (nor am I a candlestick maker or a butcher. But that's beside the point.)

However, I usually don't let a little lack of practice deter me from trying things, so, last night, I decided to make some cookies. Not just any cookies, I wanted to make cut-out sugar cookies. I got me a fine recipe from the 'net, purchased necessary ingredients, and was in business.

Sorta. I moved into The Penthouse in August, and of course, put errthing in the kitchen where I could IMMEDIATELY find it when needed. Right. That's why I spent 20 minutes just trying to locate my mixer. Aaaaaand then spent another 15 trying to find the beaters.

Having finally pieced said appliance together, I had my butter and sugar all in the bowl ready to be beaten into a creamy goo. All went well for approximately 4 seconds. In seconds 5-8, however, I learned a valuable lesson: do not pair a super-overly-excited mixer with a bowl possessing gently curved sides. It results in a gleeful flinging of sugared butter in a manner I'm sure America's Funniest Videos would appreciate.

Having recovered from that slight trauma by getting out one of my grandmother's tried-and-true mixing bowls, and feeling like I probably would've been better off making microwave popcorn, the next few steps went exactly as planned. That is, until I got to the part where you cut out the cookies. Now, I'll have you know, that I did EVERYTHING the recipe said. EVERYTHING. I floured my surface. I rolled out the dough. I did NOT chill the dough, because the recipe specifically said NOT to. And yet, when I went to gently peel up the carefully cut-out candycanes and stockings, they were flimsy and stuck to the counter!!!!

DAMMIT! So I made circles.

Hey, cookies is cookies, man.