Here on the farm, my Sprint service is roaming, so I keep my phone off most of the time. Usually when someone wants to get hold of me, they'll leave me a message so I can call them back on the farm phone when I can. And occasionally I get some real audio gems left for me, as was the case from one of my (unnamed here, to protect the, uh, guilty) friends on Saturday night. Transcribed here for your enjoyment.
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Hey! It's (Name withheld, but you know who you are!). I ... am … over at (SOMEBODY'S HOUSE) and we’re drunk off our ass. Say hello. Okay, okay, we’re drunk. I just wanted to call and show the love and, um, find out how your days as a milkmaid are going. And ... we love you and (NAME) wants to come visit you on the farm, on the dairy farm, cause you’re a farmer in the dell. And so, if you'll call us we’ll make a road trip to come and see you. So ... that ... you feel like one with the universe. Plus, I’m not afraid of cows, I’m only afraid of horses. And you don’t have horses, you have cows. So call me! (In the background: Hey, maybe she does have horses.) Oh sh@#, do you have horses? F#@* that sh@#.
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Giggle. And I'm not even a dairy farmer. I love my friends.
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